Children are the Future. The horrible, horrible future

Too many Gavin's in the world

"Mmm. Jack? Jack. Remember, Jack, when we said we'd shop quietly?"

These two kids run up the aisle past me as Medicated Mommy ambles by, eyes focused on anything but her two asshole children screaming and flinging themselves onto tables and carefully piled peppers.

"Jack, are you watching Audrey?"

You have to give it up to her, those are pretty decent names for kids. The only shame of it is that they are attached to two dipshits with no sense of how to behave in public. Can you blame them? When you have a parent that clearly doesn't give a shit and would much rather be at home drinking wine and slipping into unconsciousness in front of a television, a little hyperactivity is a given. You've got to run those fucking kids. Tucker them out. When dinner is done, when the sun has set and the cork screw is a'calling, you can put Fuck Face 1 & 2 to bed and curl up in front of the latest overwrought mess Netflix has produced.

Drink. Drink and remember how sweet it was to be single and free.

Adam Greene

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