Not everyone can handle small talk. For me it is one of my circles of personal hell, this bizarre game of who can say the most without saying anything.
"There were so many birds on my lawn today."
I remember staring at her waiting for closure that would never come. There was a pregnant pause that might have lasted seconds but felt like minutes. I honestly couldn't understand the statement; what exactly was the point: Are you mad, sad, glad? Where the hell am I in all of this and what do you want from me? Should I be amazed? Do you take a bow now that you've told me this? I mean, that isn't an anecdote. There's no takeaway from that statement apart from you noticing that there were birds on your lawn. You didn't even tell me what type of birds they were, what colour, were they eating, mating, etc. What did other people do when you said this? Did they fall out of their chair in shock and amazement? The modern Bill Burr-enhanced version of me feels like exploding.
Some times I think I may be trapped in an Inception-like reality forever locked in stasis waiting for the ending of a story that will never come.
Adam Greene
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